My solution for Rapes….

Recently, it seems like rapes are commonplace in India. Irrespective of age, sex, time and place, we hear about rapes everywhere. I am not an emotional guy but when I read or hear any atrocity against women, my heart cries. If I see any video where a woman is being sexually, physically or mentally abused, I get restless and rage takes over my sane mind. I always think of how to stop these rapes and punish the culprit in such a way that the severe punishment sets an example for others.

During the last couple of months, there is an argument about the punishment for rapist. There are many recommendations:

1. Death sentence
2. Castration
3. Rigorous imprisonment
4. Public hanging etc.

I, personally think that all these punishment is not too harsh for a rapist. To understand my point of view, lets talk about the victim for a second. For the sake of it, consider I am a woman and I have been. Let us now discuss about me and my situation after the incident.

• I cannot trust any male around me.
• Society will never accept me. (This is the worst thing a society does)
• Most will think that I enjoyed being raped and I am the person to blame. I will have to fight with all of them and protect me from not being insane and start accusing myself.
• I want the victims be punished and I have to fight with the law so the culprits be punished. (I expect that law will fight with me but it is opposite)
• I will never have a normal life with family and kids.
• Even if I become a part of the work force and get a job, pretty sure that I will not get the same treatment as others.

All those could be handled but the most important one, being a victim, I am traumatized for life. I will live in constant fear about re-occurrence of the event. I might lose my self-esteem, self-respect and self-confidence and it is difficult to recover from this situation.

Now, do you really think that death sentence or any other punishment is enough for the culprits? For me, it seems like death sentence is easy way out for the culprits. I don’t think any of the punishment is comparable to the situation faced by the victim.

Solution:-

To be honest, my solution is not in adherence to non-violence ideology or human rights code. I don’t think that rapist be treated as human. I think a murderer is far better than a rapist. A murderer kills the victim for once but a rapist kills the victims for the rest of the life. The victims dies every day till the wounds are healed.

I think that women be more powerful. It seems that today, law of jungle is applicable everywhere. If you are powerful, others respect you.
Lets go back to my example, I am a rape victim and now I have two choices.

1. Believe in the law and hope that law will take it course and punish the culprits, which might take forever.
2. Take matters in my hand.

I would take path number 2. Anyways, the culprits messed up my life. The culprits have made my life miserable. Why not, I take matters in my hand and teach them a lesson, so that no one will ever dare to rape anyone. If 10-15 victims followed my path and made sure that the culprits and inhumanely punished, I really think that all the possible rapist around will get the lesson and will not mess up with any woman again. I know that an eye for an eye will make this world blind but that does not mean that we should not retaliate when a wild dog attacks your. For me all the rapists are wild dogs and should be shot on point-blank in front of everyone.

My dear woman, law might punish the culprit but it will not make the trauma go away. The culprits will get some punishment but then they will be back in the world looking for another prey. All I really care is that you, the victim, should be at peace and there should not be any victim of this inhuman action.

Women, I am really sorry (from all the sane men in the world).

Really, Grow up….

So, the other day, I was having this discussion with my friend.

Me – Have you seen this movie?

Friend – Ohh yeah. It was an amazing movie.

Me – Yeah it was, but I kind a was bored.

Friend – Really hurt (don’t know why?)..!!! (some moments later), You have to grow to like such movies….

I was dumbfounded and thought why would my friend say such a thing? I mean, I thought I did not offend my friend by speaking about my friend’s personality or habits or any personal thing, then why is my friend trying to offend me? I was offended but still I forgave my friend, but I couldn’t forget it. I was like, it is just a stupid movie, why would anyone take it so personally.

It is just matter of likes and dislikes. Give me a person/thing/place that everyone likes. It is not possible to have something that everyone likes. Even some thing as bad as guns, not everyone is on board to ban it. And something as good as peace, not everyone likes it either, else there would be no war in this world. If some one does not share your likings then it does not mean that you should be condescending.

Don’t try to characterize anyone based on penchant towards movies/brands/songs/food or any materialistic things. Please try to have a different perspective. Don’t get offended on such silly things and try to strike back.

I hope with time, I develop an attitude of ignorance towards such comments and people around me. I may not be able to change people around me but I can definitely change myself.

People, who share my feelings, hang in their and don’t get offended. Try to be ignorant so that you will be at peace….!!! All the best…!!!!

Money…!!!

I always try to be really serious with money. I like to keep all the transactions in order with everyone. I keep a tab of who spend where and how much I owe anyone and how much some one owes me. I think for me it is more important to keep a track of how much I owe someone rather that how much some one owes me.

My attitude is not because I am stingy or spendthrift or because its “MY MONEY”.

I have seen relations getting bitter over time due to money. I just want to avoid that situation. I have amazing family and friends, but still I try to keep all my finances clean.

Let us say, I spent more on my best friend as compared to what he spent on me. I think that won’t bother me as long as I have enough. But the day when my pockets aren’t deep enough, I will detest for my actions during good times. That will infact turn my amazing relation into a jungle of bitterness.

But if I try to keep my finances and my relationships separate, at least I am eliminating one possible reason for ruining my relationships. I know that is crazy of me but I cannot predict the future. Things can and will change, money will come and go but relationships will helps us in holding things together and I do not want to ruin it just because of small petty amounts.

I don’t think keeping finances separate means I don’t like or trust my relationships. It just means, I hold my relationships more important than money…!!!

30th Birthday…

I celebrated my 30th birthday last week. I was tricked by my wife to go to Las Vegas for her school event. I detest the trip to Vegas because of very painful driving experience from LA to Vegas and return.

So, I left early around 3PM from LA and reach Vegas by 9PM. I did not know that my friends were going to surprise me in Vegas. After seeing them, a rush of energy started pumping in my body. All of a sudden, I was energetic and wanted to do a lot of things with them in Vegas.

Pretty much all of us were exhausted from the journey to Vegas and no one actually had the zeal to go out on Friday night.

Hence, we ended up having dinner in food  court and then checked-in in  a lounge. The lounge was okay. We had some crazy shots with some weird named cocktails. We spent around 2 hours and later checked-in in a restaurant and had food around 3AM. After the late night meal, we went to our hotel and dozed off in the room. And from here the agony begins…

The next day, everyone was in a bad shape. Lot of drinks, not enough sleep, dehydration, exhaustion from the journey just multiplied and we ended up with 7 really messed up individuals. That day we did not do anything, had food from one place to another till it was 6PM. Went back to hotel for a quick nap and then off to a show in semi-sleepy state. Back from show, had dinner and then back to room for a night sleep.

The next day was fresh for most of us and the day was the same as previous one. Had food from one place to another till it was evening. And then played some board games (yeah right, board games in Vegas) in the room till the food was delivered to our hotel.

I never imagined that my first Vegas trip with my friends will be so lame. I understand some of us were not feeling well, but the most important realization is, We all are OLD now. We cannot spend a day in a good mood if we did not sleep enough. We lack energy the next day if we pushed our body for some extra work the previous day. I believed as compared to my friends, I am more energetic and my belief was shattered by reality.

The trip was fun, I mean, it is always fun to be around friends but the trip was disaster in Vegas standard.

Thank you guys for the surprise, it was really fun to see you all but to be honest, our Vegas trip sucked big time. I mean to do all that, we did not have to be in Vegas. We could be better of being in a hotel in the middle of a national park.

I think, we all need to find ways to revitalize our body and mind. And then we should all visit Vegas for some awesome fun….

Absolver or Killer?

The other day I watched a movie called as Bol and I was really moved.

The movie is about a couple aspiring for a boy but parenting a girl at every attempt. Finally the couple, parents a boy but the boy is an eunuch. The father wants the boy to be euthanized but the mother resists. The reason for father’s act – the boy will not have a normal life and will spend life like other eunuchs and bring shame to his name.

Lets stop here and get into the deep meaning of the last sentence. (I, personally, is against killing or aborting a child just based on sex. So, this blog is not about it. Just wanted to make it clear.)

Lets look from the father’s perspective about the eunuch child.

• The child will not have a normal life
• The child will not have friends and family as everyone.
• The child will not have a status in the society
• The child will not have equal job opportunities
• There won’t be any progress of the child and etc. etc.

I don’t agree with “bringing shame to my name” so I won’t go in that area.

I, personally think that all the points above are valid. Do I want my child to go through that process? Do I want my child not to have the same opportunity as others? Do I want a hard life for my child.

I, definitely do not want those things for my child. I would want that my child to be euthanized. You might feel, that I am very insensitive but let me explain through two perspective – practical and spiritual.

Practical -

There is a saying “survival of the fittest”. Take up any animal species and you will find that example to be true. For e.g. Cobra’s – when the eggs are hatched, the mother creates a wall around the eggs and wait for the kids to cross it. The kids that couldn’t cross are eaten by the mother. Eagles – They always give two eggs. One egg is bigger and the other is smaller. The smaller egg/child is turned into food when the food is scarce.

In short, the world is meant for fittest. Just imagine the life of your child where everyone around is fitter. Imagine the pain the child will need to bear when the society neglects it, when the society sympathizes for the condition of the child or do something out of pity. I mean, I couldn’t even imagine the mental condition of the child. Do I want my child to go through all this…? I definitely do not..

Spiritual: –

Let for the sake of it believe in reincarnation. According to Hinduism, every one is reborn after death as penance due to past life sins.

Lets believe that your child is born with some defects due to some past life sins. Do you want your child to suffer for all the past life sins or you want your child to be absolved from the sins by euthanizing the child?

In Mahabharata, Ganga gives birth to 8 boys and she kills 7 of them. She couldn’t kill the 8the one which turns out to be Bhisma. If you read Bhisma’s life story, you would realize all the trouble he has to go through. Ganga kills her 7 boys because the 8 boys were cursed because of past life act. And she promised that she will set them free from the curse by killing them the day they are born. And hence she kills them.

So, it could be possible that my unborn child is cursed because of some past life sins and I am the chosen one to set him free from the hardships of this life so my child could have a better next life.

Well, this is just a perspective and I am sure that each one of us can come up with a new and different perspective. My idea was just to provide a perspective and not to discuss about its superiority.

Reading between lines…. Why?

I have noticed lot of us end up reading between lines which is the basis of all the confusion and problem we have in our social circle.

For e.g.

If I say, I like Hitler, it ends up propagating as I hate Jews.

If I say, I believe in arrange marriages, it ends up as I am against love marriages.

If I say, I do not have to drink every time I party, it doesn’t mean that I am against drinking or partying or I am not against who do that always.

 

Why can’t we keep it simple instead of adding complications. I mean Hitler had many qualities, and not all of them were bad. I admire his devotion and respect towards his home country, Germany (that’s what I read it from books). But it doesn’t mean that I admire his atrocities towards Jews. In the same way, there are so many incidences that occur in our day to day life. But people around us end up reading between lines and make some incorrect conclusion and spread it across.

It becomes extremely difficult to deal with these scenarios. At times, people can even understand or hear words that you did not event speak. It becomes extremely important to properly read the audience around you before you even start to speak.

Why to be moral?

Our life is always surrounded by fear. Most of the decision are guided by fear. We have to study hard so that our future isn’t bad. We have to make friends so that we are not alone. We have to be good as a human so that we are not punished for our sins.

Sometimes, it makes me wonder, what if I remove all the fear in my life, will I take the same decisions that I have taken so far? Will I do the same things, behave same way that I have been doing?

Hypothetically—

First situation:-

I stopped worrying about the future. I stopped thinking and taking actions that will ascertain that my future is good. I stopped working (too hard) and instead start doing bare minimum to comfort me and my present.Trying and doing everything that will make me happy at present and not for my future. I might have a good time today but in future I will have to suffer. I will be struggling when I will not have enough energy. I will be old, sick and destitute. I along with my family will be suffering for the bad decisions I have taken at present. All these thoughts (fear) is my guiding light. These fears helps me to be sane and taking right decisions so that my future holds good.

Second situation:-

In Hinduism, there is a concept of reincarnation. You are born, you live, you die, you are reborn and the cycle continues until and unless you achieve Nirvana. You cannot remember what you have done in your past life. But based on the sins of your past life, your current life will be decided by GOD. So, if in my current life, I am good to others and always do the right thing, I will be blessed with a better life in the next life. At the same time, if I am bad to others, do all inhuman and immoral activities then I will be punished for my sins in the next life. So this fear, make sure that everyone in this world tries to be as moral as they can. Due to this fear, people do not hurt others (even if they want to). This fear keeps a tab of the moral values on everyone.

 

Difference between two scenarios:

In the first one, the result of your actions (good or bad) will be in the same life. You will have to suffer for your decisions in later part of life. But you will have to suffer in the very life. You will remember everything that you did, you did not do and result of your actions. This is a good lesson to yourself and others.

In the second one, the result of your actions (good or bad) will be in the next life. You will suffer for your actions, but in the next life. This means you will not remember what you have done before and why are you being punished. In this scenario, when I know the result is in my next life and I won’t even remember what I have done, what prohibits me from doing any immoral activities in my current life? What prohibits me from not being the next Dawood Ibrahim? For me, Dawood did all the immoral activities and he is living a king’s life. He is not being punished for his sins in this life. He might get punished in the next one. But who cares about the next life.

Think about the politicians in India. Most of them are bad and immoral but even they are living a king’s life. People comment that they definitely have some problems/tensions that we do not see. My point, who doesn’t have problems and tensions in this world? I mean people still die, people still suffer from diseases, people still loose their loved ones in some tragic accident. All these problems are still there irrespective whether you being good or bad. Then why not be bad and spend a king’s life knowing that your next life will be bad.

I still have my morals in place but I don’t understand why they are in place. I don’t see any implication for being immoral. I believe these questions are asked by common man but the inability to find the answer or fear for not doing the immoral activities, people continue to do which harms the society.

 

 

New year…..

I hope the new year brings something good in my life.

2011 has been a good year. I got married. My job has been stable. My cousin got married. My married life has been stable. Met good people around. Made new friends. Learnt new things in life.

But i expect the following things in the new year.
1) Grow professionally.
2) Understand easily the difference between a friend and a back stabber (not an enemy).
3) Handle other important things properly like personal life, family life, social life, social activities etc.
3) Find the path that will lead me to my dream and destiny.
4) Make an impact to the society.

I am not sure whether I will be able to attain or accomplish all my expectations but I pray to GOD that I make all the right decisions that’ll lead me to my destiny.

I am ready to do all the hard work and put in all my efforts and I hope that GOD bless me and direct me to right direction.

Eternal Peace

Eternal Peace:

I been very irregular in my blogs these days. Right now, blogs are not the priority at all. I spend most of time watching movies or TV shows over and over. I keep on promising myself not to re-run any movie or TV show but end up doing it. Anyways, a different blog for that some time later.

I had my yearly India visit and I would say this was the by far the best visit of my life. I was in India just for two weeks but I never felt so happy and content. The good part is, I know the exact reason for my happiness.

Every India trip, I visit some religious places in India. Sailani (a small town near Buldana) is one of the place which I visit without fail. The typical activity I perform there:

1. Reach Sailani
2. Visit all the “dargahs”
3. Return back.

But this time I added two more activites:

1. We reached Sailani
2. We got food with us and we distributed food to 100 people
3. We distributed clothes.
4. We visited all the “dargahs”
5. We returned.

There are many poor people in Sailani. Sailani is not a place with all the richness like Tirupati or Shirdi. It really felt very nice to help these people. I understand giving food for a day is not going to make a very big significance in their life but it just took care of one day. If people start doing something just for one day then eventually the entire year will be taken care and these destitute people will find some hope and happiness in their gloomy life.

Sometime, I still feel happy when I retrospect my day at this religious place. I believe I understood what actually eternal peace means. No job, no money, no car, no house, no gadget helped me attaining this state.

I wish to do something for the poor and destitute throughout the year and not just one day. Please direct me to the right groups (if you know of)  so that I can help them while I am not in India.

Mantra for Happy Life…..

There are many books that explains the mantra for Happy Life. I will try to summarize all of that in my blog post.

Requirements for Happy Life…

1. Good education

2. Decent stable job

3. Good place to live

4. Good and happy family

5. A good and understanding wife

6. Good friends around and

7. A decent life with all the required amenities.

 

By God’s grace, I have all of these but still there is something that is missing in my life. I wish I would know what it is but still not able to discover it. I know that I am very lucky to have all of these but still not able to appreciate it entirely because of one missing thing.

A pray for some enlightenment and help me solve some mysteries of my life. I think then only I will be able to attain the eternal peace.

All the books that talks about Happy Life are a sham. Every person is different and has different requirements.

In short, there is no one Mantra for Happy LIFE…..