We are INDIANS…!!!!

As the title suggests, this blog is about Indians. To be honest, I might not be able to set the tone of the blog but just wanted to share some observations.

We, Indians, are very interesting, complex and weird people. May be these observations might be true for other races too, but I cannot confirm or deny it. I can talk about Indians because I am an Indian and I can observe my fellow countrymen with some more details as compared to others.

This blog is dedicated to those Indians who are not residing in India and specifically residing in USA. Why USA? Because I am in USA. Hence my observations about only USA residing Indians. My observations does not mean that I am not a part of it. So, don’t think that I am any different than the rest. Folks I, myself behave the same way.

Observations:

  1. We think that we are the only capable person who has the privilege to live in USA. The moment, an Indian sees another Indian, he thinks that how the other person managed to come and live in USA.
  2. We don’t like what we are and we all strive to be someone else. For e.g. – We want to have an American ascent and we strive hard to achieve it. We want to achieve it so that we can communicate with locals. I might be wrong, but I feel we are the only race doing that. I see other Asians (with really difficult English ascent) not trying hard to change it.
  3. We really dislike each other. We will not go to a particular restaurant just because it is famous among Indians. We will not sign an apartment lease because many Indians stays there. We will not go to a particular vacation spot due to its popularity among Indians.
  4. We are really pretentious and have double standards for what is done in India and what is done in USA. Let me give you some examples.
  • We like and appreciate Arnold Schwarzenegger’s movies where he alone destroys an entire battalion but we criticize when Dharmendra or Sunny Deol does the same thing.
  • We enjoy Harry Potter movies where between two wizards shoot electricity from their wands but we laugh and make jokes when similar things are shown in Mahabharata or Ramayana.
  • We are enthralled to see James Bond do all the crazy actions without getting any wrinkles on his blazer but we want to talk physics when Rajnikant or Mithun kills two people with one single bullet.
  • We talk about cleanliness in USA and we just go shooting crap all over the street the moment we land in India.
  • We will never visit any orphanage in India but we put up a live show in USA.
  • We will be preaching anti-corruption all the way in USA but the moment we land on any Indian airport, we will try to bribe the custom officer.

      The list is too long but I hope you get the gist. I know many readers will be offended by this but folks this is just for fun. As I said, I do subset of all the things above.

Just read it, laugh on it and forget..

Who dominates the society?

We all say and think that the society is men dominated and I grew up with the same thought. But, now my thought process has changed. I feel the society is women dominated. Here are some facts supporting my argument.

– If you want to sell any product, you need women in the advertisement. At the worst, even if the product is men’s underwear, still you have more women than men in the advertisement.

– A girl drives all the guys around her. Guys behave the way the girl wants. Guys will not do their favourite thing if the girl doesn’t approve it.

– Before marriage, the guy behaves as his girl friend says and after marriage the guy behaves as his wife says.

– All the guys wants to impress at least one girl in his lifetime. So everyone is always trying. In this pursuit, guys happily gives away the control and the power to every girl they want to impress.

– In your childhood, you are at the mercy of your mother(women), in adolescent at the mercy of your girl friend(women), after marriage at the mercy of your wife (women) and in old age, at the mercy of your son’s wife(women). 🙂

Based on all these, how can anyone say that the society is male dominated. As per my perspective, it is women dominated. Women run’s this world. They are the one having all the strings and they know which string to pull at what time. Based on the string pulled, males will start behaving the way she wants.

One advice, please don’t change anything. Everyone reading this has to accept it and behave as per the women in their life. Don’t mess with the existing setting..
:):):):)

A STORY……..

I stumbled upon this story…

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA , the land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA , it was as if a dream had come true.

Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India . My father was a Government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.

I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald’s and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate.

The in-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA , after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA .

My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing. After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand children.

Every year I decided to go to India … But work and monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn’t get any holidays and thus could not go to India… The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rites, the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents passed away without seeing their son and grand children.

After couple more years passed away, much to my children’s dislike and my wife’s joy, we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the US…

My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to  stay in India …. My 2 children and I returned to USA , after promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA … I decided that I had enough and wound up every thing and returned to India … I had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.

….Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes I wonder, was it worth all this? My father, even after staying in India, had a house to his name and I too have  the same, nothing more. I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damn cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking if I am alright. Well, at least they remember me.

Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors who will be performing my last rites too, God Bless them. But the question still remains, was all this worth it?’

I am still searching for an answer…… ……… ..!!!

Obsession….!!!

I am inspired by my friend to write a blog on obsession…..  My list may not be long but it is peculiar…..

  • I cannot see electricity and water being wasted. No matter how much pain I am in, I always switch off the lights when not in use. The same applies to water too… (There is no need to keep the water running while brushing teeth… Please avoid it)
  • Every thing has a place and I like to see things in their designated places. Suppose an article is misplaced (e.g. nail-cutter, pillow or vacuum cleaner) then I feel it is talking to me and pleading me to put it in its designated place.
  • I am extremely obsessed and passionate for Mahabharat. I watch it any time of the day. Mahabharat is something which is directly connected to my heart.
  • I just cannot waste food. I strive to finish everything that I cook or order. And when I see people waste food, it just kills me.
  • I cannot break traffic rules. These rules are for our safety and there is no fun in breaking them. Infact breaking the traffic rules adds to the chaos. I wish I can do some thing about Pune drivers……
  • I am obsessed with correcting people. If I see someone doing a wrong thing, I cannot stop myself correcting him/her. ( I know I shouldn’t be doing that. Working to improve myself…..)

Hilarious Email

I am in the midst of the arrange marriage process and wanted to share a hilarious email from me. This was the email I sent to the first prospect I was chatting with. Initially, I thought I am matured but over time I realized how hilarious this email was. I bet the girl must have laughed and enjoyed it a lot. But I guess it is the part of the process; you err, you understand and you mature.

So enjoy this post and laugh you a** off……

Background:
The girl asks me a simple question about my understanding of a life partner and my answer never ends…

Ideas about my life partner:

1) Family : I feel this is a job done by both the partners. Husband and wife are equally responsible for managing the family even if it is a joint family. I do not expect that my life partner will have answers to the questions regarding the family. I am fine if she doesn’t know cooking, I am fine if she doesn’t know the traditions and customs, I am fine if she doesn’t have enough idea on how to manage a family. I feel that all these can be learned over a period of time. Family is important, very important, but I cannot be mean and expect my life partner to take all the measures to keep them happy. I feel it is a team (husband-wife) job. In fact, a guy should take more responsibility as the girl is completely new to the family.

2) Career: I expect my life partner to be opportunist not a materialist. I expect my life partner to be intelligent enough to understand if I decide to move to Africa. ( with a consideration that I am not insane and take some random decisions. But infact there is a good opportunity to progress). I am pretty much sure about one thing, my life partner is never going to sit at home and watch all the soap operas by Ekta Kapoor.

3) Understanding: I know this is a very big idea. No one can define this word but still everyone uses this. I expect one thing from my life partner, she should be open minded. She should listen to what everyone around is saying or suggesting and then take a wise decision. She should not be adamant about her decisions. She should have understanding enough to know the situations and decide when to stick to her decision and when to forget about her decision.

4) I expect that my life partner should not forget her life. As per me, a marriage is a process where two individuals come together and combine their lives. Generally, the girl forgets her life, her friends, her hobbies and accept the boy’s life. I want my life partner to live her life and ask me to join her and vice verse.

5) I expect my life partner to understand the importance of space. I expect that at least one part of my life should not be interfered by her and one part of her’s life will not be interfered by me. May be that part be the work life. It means that, I expect my life partner to be from a different profession than me so that we both have enough space and lot of topics to talk about.

As per me, the girl should be adorned and adored because she is going to be a part of new family. It is the guy’s responsibility to make sure that the transitions is smooth without friction. The guy should make sure that he cover’s up for her when she commits a mistake during the transitions. The guy should make sure that she is pampered when it is required. The girl goes through a big change and it is his responsibility to make it look small. ( high fundu, right???)

For me, the most important factor for deciding my life partner is “ATTITUDE”. Again, I know that his is a big word and a book can be written on this but I will try to describe it in the traits of a person.

She should be positive minded. She should be always emitting positive vibes. She should be charming and a constant smile on her face. She should not be complaining. She should be the one to find solution for any problem in life instead of complaining to me. She should always be helping. She should be confident enough to tell me if I am wrong. She should be good enough to make her point without starting a fight. The most important of all ” She should be open to learn”
( Don’t worry, I am not mad )

I know I am asking too much and you must be wondering if I possess any of these? I do possess some of them but I strive to possess all of them. I am still learning and I believe one day I will possess all.


Don’t get judgmental as I told you, it is hilarious for me too…. I am glad that I understand my mistake pretty early and did not have the same conversation with any  other  girl……

Maine Pyaar Kiya…..

At the advent of every weekend, same old question lingers in the mind, “What to do”? So, at one of the weekends, I decided to watch the movie “Maine Pyaar Kiya” at http://www.Rajshri.com. I understand that an old movie seems to be funny but still I cannot refrain myself to comment on the movie.

Funny facts of the movie:

“Kabootar ja ja” Song : Just check the video of the song where Salmaan Khan and Bhagyashree goes to a park. At the end of the song, there are “Apples” spread over the park and Salmaan and Bhagyashree dances around the apples. Bhagyashree uses apples as if the apples are invigorating some desires in her. I do not mind the feelings and desires but using Apples… really??? Also please listen the lyrics….

First salary by Salman Khan : Salmaan works in a mine and earns some money on his first day. He goes to Bhagyashree’s father to hand over the first salary. Just check the Bhagyashree’s cliche reaction. I cannot describe the scene, you have to watch it for yourself.

Bhagyashree acting : I guess there is nothing much to say about this. She is the most awful actress in the movie. She doesn’t know acting, dancing and that is why we did not see much of her. Though she looks cute in the movie.

Salman Khan acting : Surprisingly, he acted really well. I did not expect such a diligent performance from him. I hope he can do the same in recent times.

Monish Bhel’s salacious eye on Bhagyashree : There is a fight between Bhagyashree and Monish Bhel for defending herself from Monish Bhel’s lascivious intentions. It was really hilarious and Monish Bhel was seriously hurt by slashes from Bhagyashree with the pillow.

After the clash between Bhagyashree and Monish Bhel, Salmaan also wanted to feel the gayness experiencing after a skirmish. So there is brawl between Salmaan and Monish Bhel with an excellent score of background music. The Salmaan some how wins the fracas and he is the most tired after the squabble. Monish Bhel some how enjoyed the fight and was happy at the end of it while Salmaan was despondent.

Helping with the sore leg after a cycling attempt : I would rate this as the best scene in the movie. I cannot comment on such an amazing scene. It was a sincere attempt to project Bhagyashree as a sex bombshell.

And the best is Kabootar : Why the hell is “Kabootar” all over in the movie. I distinctly remember a scene where Salmaan’s father visits him while is working in the mine and it is project as two teams competing against each other. One teams comprises of Salmaan’s father while the other team consists of Salmaan, Bhagyashree and “Kabootar”. I remember a similar scene from the movie Gadar where Amrish Puir is at one end while Sunny Deol, Amisha Patel and their son is at the end. You can make the comparisons…!!!!!!

Movie name is “Maine Pyaar Kiya” or “Dil Deewana” : There are three different versions of “Dil Deewana” song.

I know that it is not right to critic such movies today because everything around has changed and so their style, choreography, stories, songs etc. has changed. But it is really fun to watch such old movies once in a while and laugh you ass out.

LUX….. Kya Scene Hain???

Date – 20th May 2009
Time – 7.30 PM
Place – Exotic Thai Restaurant having dinner

I was having a good dinner with my roommate and suddenly, my phone rings. The conversation is as follows:

Me      : (New number, some one from the Bay Area)  Hi

Caller  : Hi, is this Anup?

Me     : Yes.

Caller : Hi Anup, This is X (don’t want to publish the name)

Me    : Xxxxx????? So….

Caller : Ohh!!!! Your parents did not mention about me ?

Me    : (Shocked) Naahhh…!!! (plethora of thoughts going through my mind, What the hell??)

Caller : (Feeling embarrassed, doesn’t know what to say)  I got your phone number from my parents. My parents have talked to your parents regarding us.

Me    :(Embarrassed and Shocked) I am sorry but I do not have any idea about it.

Caller : Please talk to you parents and call me back tomorrow.

Me    : Ok, Bye….

Caller : Bye

and she hungs up. I am sitting with my roomate dumbfounded after the last two minutes. I was shocked, thrilled, enthralled and happy. I was thrilled because I wanted to be the one who calls up his friends and talk about his experience and for the first time, I will be talking and not listening. I was happy as I sensed that there will be a little change in my mundane and diurnal life.

I decide to talk to my parents about it. So after dinner I watched a movie and returned home to talk to my parents.

The conversation goes as follows:

Me       : Hi Dad

Dad      : Hi, How are you?

Me       : Daaaaaaaad………., always intimate me first before you give my phone number to any one.

Dad      : (puzzled)What are you talking? I did not give your number to any one.

Me       : (puzzled) What??? Ask Mom if she has given it

(After some time)

Dad      : No, even she did not give the number. Though we have circulated your email address but not your phone number.

Now my excitement crossed my limits. I wasn’t expecting anything like this and I wasn’t prepared for it.

Dad     : Talk to your sister, she must know. She is the one who handles your profiles on all the matrimonial sites.

Me      : Ok.

Conversation ends.

I wasn’t able to sleep that night. Two things occupied me and there was no space for drowsiness to sneak in. Well one of the thing was definitely the story of the mystery girl and the second thing was cricket( I do not know why). At one moment, I was trying to picture her and the next moment I was bowling in my debut match which we played last week and we lost. I told one of my friend, If I was asked to choose between sex and cricket, I will choose cricket. I guess this exemplifies it( I wasn’t thinking about sex though, but just an analogy). So now I am interested in knowing how the hell did she get my mobile number and at the same time trying to find the right delivery so that the batsman is out who took the match away from us. I some how fall asleep with no dreams about any of the two things. I got up in the morning and talked to my sister. The conversation is as follows.

Me          : Hi, How are you?

Sister     : Awesome, I heard random girls calling you, is it true?

Me          : You did not give my number?

Sister     : Hell…No….

Me          : I updated her that X called me and she got my number from her parents

Sister     : X…. Hmmmmm… What’s her last name?

Me          : I do not know.

Sister     : Well, I have expressed interest in X through a matrimony website. But she is in India and the caller is in US.

Me          : Well that is interesting… and we just blabber for a while and hung up.

Now the most important thing to know was the identity of the girl. It was a mystery and I was excited to solve it. I was just expecting the day to move faster so that I can call her and know more about her and solve the mystery but the day was progressing as slow as possible. Finally the day ended and I came home and called her up.

Me        : Hi X, How are you?

Caller    : Hi Anup, I am extremely sorry for yesterday. There was some misunderstanding at my parents end and they ended up giving me your number.

Me        : I was just going to say some thing similar. I talked to my parents and even they were dumbfounded. They had no clue about you. If you don’t mind, what is your last name?

Caller    :Y….

Me        : Ok… Now, you may call it a co-incidence or what but my sister liked a girl’ s profile in one of the matrimony website and her name is X Z.

Caller    : Sheer co-incidence. I am sorry again as I was very embarrassed yesterday and that is why I couldn’t speak a lot yesterday.

Me        : I felt that you were embarrassed the other day. I am sorry as I made you uncomfortable. Actually even I was embarrassed. I asked my parents to keep me posted about any such developments so that I do not embarrass any other girl

Caller    : It was fun talking to you and sorry again for all the trouble. I wanted to call you before but thought you must be working so did not try. It was so weird to call up a guy when the guy doesn’t even have an idea.

Me        : Don’t worry. You are not the one. One of my friend also had a similar experience but in his case, the girl did not make a mistake.(Laughing). You know,  I really appreciate your two qualities. You were gutsy and really confident yesterday. If I was in your place and faced the similar situation, I would have fumbled with my words and sentences but you really handled the situation properly. It is really amazing. Even my sister pointed out to me.

Caller    : (Laughing) Thank you very much. I really appreciate that. Anyways, that was fun and sorry again.

Me        :(The voice of the girls seems to be of my friend. I guess she is fooling around me. Anyways, the story is ending so no need to create some more branches)(Laughing) No problem at all.. But how did you get my number because my number is not provided in my profile or my bio-data.

Caller    : I do not have my profile uploaded any where, my parents doesn’t believe in it. They came to know about you from their contacts who are common to both the families.

Me        : Anyway, have fun and all the best…

Caller    : All the best to you too…

Me         : Bye

Caller    : Bye

The call ended.

Finally the story of the mystery girl ends. I guess my excitement and thrillness ended with that call. I deleted her phone number as the story was ended and I got back to my life.

I am really thankful to X, just because of her I got a topic to laugh about and blog it. For the first time, I am calling my friends and updating them with my story.