My solution for Rapes….

Recently, it seems like rapes are commonplace in India. Irrespective of age, sex, time and place, we hear about rapes everywhere. I am not an emotional guy but when I read or hear any atrocity against women, my heart cries. If I see any video where a woman is being sexually, physically or mentally abused, I get restless and rage takes over my sane mind. I always think of how to stop these rapes and punish the culprit in such a way that the severe punishment sets an example for others.

During the last couple of months, there is an argument about the punishment for rapist. There are many recommendations:

  1. Death sentence
  2. Castration
  3. Rigorous imprisonment
  4. Public hanging etc.

I, personally think that all these punishment is not too harsh for a rapist. To understand my point of view, lets talk about the victim for a second. For the sake of it, consider I am a woman and I have been. Let us now discuss about me and my situation after the incident.

  • I cannot trust any male around me.
  • Society will never accept me. (This is the worst thing a society does)
  • Most will think that I enjoyed being raped and I am the person to blame. I will have to fight with all of them and protect me from not being insane and start accusing myself.
  • I want the victims be punished and I have to fight with the law so the culprits be punished. (I expect that law will fight with me but it is opposite)
  • I will never have a normal life with family and kids.
  • Even if I become a part of the work force and get a job, pretty sure that I will not get the same treatment as others.

All those could be handled but the most important one, being a victim, I am traumatized for life. I will live in constant fear about re-occurrence of the event. I might lose my self-esteem, self-respect and self-confidence and it is difficult to recover from this situation.

Now, do you really think that death sentence or any other punishment is enough for the culprits? For me, it seems like death sentence is easy way out for the culprits. I don’t think any of the punishment is comparable to the situation faced by the victim.

Solution:-

To be honest, my solution is not in adherence to non-violence ideology or human rights code. I don’t think that rapist be treated as human. I think a murderer is far better than a rapist. A murderer kills the victim for once but a rapist kills the victims for the rest of the life. The victims dies every day till the wounds are healed.

I think that women be more powerful. It seems that today, law of jungle is applicable everywhere. If you are powerful, others respect you.
Lets go back to my example, I am a rape victim and now I have two choices.

  1. Believe in the law and hope that law will take it course and punish the culprits, which might take forever.
  2. Take matters in my hand.

I would take path number 2. Anyways, the culprits messed up my life. The culprits have made my life miserable. Why not, I take matters in my hand and teach them a lesson, so that no one will ever dare to rape anyone. If 10-15 victims followed my path and made sure that the culprits and inhumanely punished, I really think that all the possible rapist around will get the lesson and will not mess up with any woman again. I know that an eye for an eye will make this world blind but that does not mean that we should not retaliate when a wild dog attacks your. For me all the rapists are wild dogs and should be shot on point-blank in front of everyone.

My dear woman, law might punish the culprit but it will not make the trauma go away. The culprits will get some punishment but then they will be back in the world looking for another prey. All I really care is that you, the victim, should be at peace and there should not be any victim of this inhuman action.

Women, I am really sorry (from all the sane men in the world).

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Really, Grow up….

So, the other day, I was having this discussion with my friend.

Me – Have you seen this movie?

Friend – Ohh yeah. It was an amazing movie.

Me – Yeah it was, but I kind a was bored.

Friend – Really hurt (don’t know why?)..!!! (some moments later), You have to grow to like such movies….

I was dumbfounded and thought why would my friend say such a thing? I mean, I thought I did not offend my friend by speaking about my friend’s personality or habits or any personal thing, then why is my friend trying to offend me? I was offended but still I forgave my friend, but I couldn’t forget it. I was like, it is just a stupid movie, why would anyone take it so personally.

It is just matter of likes and dislikes. Give me a person/thing/place that everyone likes. It is not possible to have something that everyone likes. Even some thing as bad as guns, not everyone is on board to ban it. And something as good as peace, not everyone likes it either, else there would be no war in this world. If some one does not share your likings then it does not mean that you should be condescending.

Don’t try to characterize anyone based on penchant towards movies/brands/songs/food or any materialistic things. Please try to have a different perspective. Don’t get offended on such silly things and try to strike back.

I hope with time, I develop an attitude of ignorance towards such comments and people around me. I may not be able to change people around me but I can definitely change myself.

People, who share my feelings, hang in their and don’t get offended. Try to be ignorant so that you will be at peace….!!! All the best…!!!!

Money…!!!

I always try to be really serious with money. I like to keep all the transactions in order with everyone. I keep a tab of who spend where and how much I owe anyone and how much some one owes me. I think for me it is more important to keep a track of how much I owe someone rather that how much some one owes me.

My attitude is not because I am stingy or spendthrift or because its “MY MONEY”.

I have seen relations getting bitter over time due to money. I just want to avoid that situation. I have amazing family and friends, but still I try to keep all my finances clean.

Let us say, I spent more on my best friend as compared to what he spent on me. I think that won’t bother me as long as I have enough. But the day when my pockets aren’t deep enough, I will detest for my actions during good times. That will infact turn my amazing relation into a jungle of bitterness.

But if I try to keep my finances and my relationships separate, at least I am eliminating one possible reason for ruining my relationships. I know that is crazy of me but I cannot predict the future. Things can and will change, money will come and go but relationships will helps us in holding things together and I do not want to ruin it just because of small petty amounts.

I don’t think keeping finances separate means I don’t like or trust my relationships. It just means, I hold my relationships more important than money…!!!

30th Birthday…

I celebrated my 30th birthday last week. I was tricked by my wife to go to Las Vegas for her school event. I detest the trip to Vegas because of very painful driving experience from LA to Vegas and return.

So, I left early around 3PM from LA and reach Vegas by 9PM. I did not know that my friends were going to surprise me in Vegas. After seeing them, a rush of energy started pumping in my body. All of a sudden, I was energetic and wanted to do a lot of things with them in Vegas.

Pretty much all of us were exhausted from the journey to Vegas and no one actually had the zeal to go out on Friday night.

Hence, we ended up having dinner in food  court and then checked-in in  a lounge. The lounge was okay. We had some crazy shots with some weird named cocktails. We spent around 2 hours and later checked-in in a restaurant and had food around 3AM. After the late night meal, we went to our hotel and dozed off in the room. And from here the agony begins…

The next day, everyone was in a bad shape. Lot of drinks, not enough sleep, dehydration, exhaustion from the journey just multiplied and we ended up with 7 really messed up individuals. That day we did not do anything, had food from one place to another till it was 6PM. Went back to hotel for a quick nap and then off to a show in semi-sleepy state. Back from show, had dinner and then back to room for a night sleep.

The next day was fresh for most of us and the day was the same as previous one. Had food from one place to another till it was evening. And then played some board games (yeah right, board games in Vegas) in the room till the food was delivered to our hotel.

I never imagined that my first Vegas trip with my friends will be so lame. I understand some of us were not feeling well, but the most important realization is, We all are OLD now. We cannot spend a day in a good mood if we did not sleep enough. We lack energy the next day if we pushed our body for some extra work the previous day. I believed as compared to my friends, I am more energetic and my belief was shattered by reality.

The trip was fun, I mean, it is always fun to be around friends but the trip was disaster in Vegas standard.

Thank you guys for the surprise, it was really fun to see you all but to be honest, our Vegas trip sucked big time. I mean to do all that, we did not have to be in Vegas. We could be better of being in a hotel in the middle of a national park.

I think, we all need to find ways to revitalize our body and mind. And then we should all visit Vegas for some awesome fun….

New year…..

I hope the new year brings something good in my life.

2011 has been a good year. I got married. My job has been stable. My cousin got married. My married life has been stable. Met good people around. Made new friends. Learnt new things in life.

But i expect the following things in the new year.
1) Grow professionally.
2) Understand easily the difference between a friend and a back stabber (not an enemy).
3) Handle other important things properly like personal life, family life, social life, social activities etc.
3) Find the path that will lead me to my dream and destiny.
4) Make an impact to the society.

I am not sure whether I will be able to attain or accomplish all my expectations but I pray to GOD that I make all the right decisions that’ll lead me to my destiny.

I am ready to do all the hard work and put in all my efforts and I hope that GOD bless me and direct me to right direction.

Eternal Peace

Eternal Peace:

I been very irregular in my blogs these days. Right now, blogs are not the priority at all. I spend most of time watching movies or TV shows over and over. I keep on promising myself not to re-run any movie or TV show but end up doing it. Anyways, a different blog for that some time later.

I had my yearly India visit and I would say this was the by far the best visit of my life. I was in India just for two weeks but I never felt so happy and content. The good part is, I know the exact reason for my happiness.

Every India trip, I visit some religious places in India. Sailani (a small town near Buldana) is one of the place which I visit without fail. The typical activity I perform there:

  1. Reach Sailani
  2. Visit all the “dargahs”
  3. Return back.

But this time I added two more activites:

  1. We reached Sailani
  2. We got food with us and we distributed food to 100 people
  3. We distributed clothes.
  4. We visited all the “dargahs”
  5. We returned.

There are many poor people in Sailani. Sailani is not a place with all the richness like Tirupati or Shirdi. It really felt very nice to help these people. I understand giving food for a day is not going to make a very big significance in their life but it just took care of one day. If people start doing something just for one day then eventually the entire year will be taken care and these destitute people will find some hope and happiness in their gloomy life.

Sometime, I still feel happy when I retrospect my day at this religious place. I believe I understood what actually eternal peace means. No job, no money, no car, no house, no gadget helped me attaining this state.

I wish to do something for the poor and destitute throughout the year and not just one day. Please direct me to the right groups (if you know of)  so that I can help them while I am not in India.

NOSTALGIC

Generally, I am never nostalgic. I do not spend time thinking about the past and miss it. I move on with life and look for the future.

But since last 2-3 days, I am feeling very nostalgic about my engineering days. I am really missing those days.

– I miss those zillion hours spent talking about useless things.

– I miss those times with my friends having breakfast, lunch, snacks, dinner for the whole day. In the end, you realize that you have just ate from every place in that vicinity.

– I miss those petty fights with my friends over the smallest thing possible. It was as if there was a competition as to Who fights over the smallest thing possible?

– I miss those impromptu plans in the middle of the night

– I miss those planning sessions when we want to do some thing on a particular day and end up doing nothing.

– I miss those frugal means of living. Having bare minimum wealth at your disposal and enjoying every penny of it.

– I miss the jealousy, pride, ego and confidence in almost everyone I see around me (including myself)

 

There are many many many things I miss but most important I miss is the innocence in everyone around me. I do get to spend time with my college friends but I miss the innocence. Everyone has changed including myself. We do not behave in the same way anymore. Now, life is too serious and complicated. Everyone has a goal which is either achieved or yet to be achieved. Everyone has a parallel life. Now we have wealth but not enough excitement to enjoy every penny. The spark is fading away. We all are connected (Phone, Emails, Internet) but still the connection is not strong enough. With time, the connecting strings are getting weaker and weaker.

 

I miss you all my friends. Every experience (good or bad) was worth. Those were very important to shape my personality what is today.

 

I MISS YOU……..