Marriage or a business deal????

Lately, my parents are very eager to see me get married. So they send me contact information of prospective brides so that I can talk to them and make a decision. I was very fond of arrange marriages until I actually had to experience the entire process.

My parents expects me to contact the prospective brides, chat with them, understand them and see if there is any match. But infact the conversation turns out to be very different. I keep on adding my requirements, my ideas and understanding of a life partner and the process is repeated by the girl, I am talking to. We come up with our requirements and see if there is any way we can settle for some intermediate conditions. We have our arguments, ideologies, philosophies and perspective towards our life. It is so difficult to explain it to a stranger and expects the stranger to understand it and agree with it. I feel like I am having a business deal instead of a marriage proposal.

I always thought that a marriage is possible if you see love in the relationship. But while talking to the girls, I feel there is everything but love. Me as well as the girl is interested in our personal life and we forgot that love is an indispensable part of a marriage. A marriage can be successful without knowing the education of the partners. It can be successful without concentrating on the region to settle in the future. It can be successful without knowing the ways how the partners spend their free time. But in fact it cannot be successful without LOVE.

I am weary of all these questions and answers. I want to fall in LOVE and then get married. I want to experience the magical exuberance of being in LOVE. Finally, I just want to have a marriage and no business propositions.

*************************Update********************************************
I wasn’t clear enough to explain what I really meant by LOVE so this update.

l am still going to meet all the prospects my parents are going to decide but I am not going to put forth my requirements. I am going to see, how the communication goes? How do we talk? How well do we connect? How is her sense of humor and the most important thing did I enjoy talking to her? Do I want to talk more? And based on all these, I am going to decide whether she is the right girl or not.

**************************************************************************
Some one told me once, when the right person is in front of you, you instantaneously say “YES” for the marriage without even asking any questions. I hope it is true and I experience the same thing.

Advertisements

Arrange Marriages..!!!!

I met lot of people in US who have misinformation about arrange marriages. I though of blogging it…

1) We are not forced into arrange marriages, it is our personal choice (or say last option to find the right match 🙂 )

2) We(male and female) have equal opportunity to agree or disagree to any marriage proposal.

3) We are given some time( not years but days) to decide over any ongoing marriage proposal.

4) We are given enough time and space to communicate ourself to each other.

5) Parents do the first screening and we too have the screening right.

6) Though we do not have a live in relationship before getting married but that does not mean that we are physically forced and married to the very next girl our parents decide.

7) The marriage process is started since years and both the families do all types of screenings before moving forward because marriages in India are amalgamation of two families.

(Please add any more points in the comments, if I am missing)