Are marriages made in Heaven???

The story starts back in August 2009.

I chatted with her for the first time in August 2009. The chat was normal, just introduction of each other, sharing some information and the first step was successful. After couple of days, I talked to her and that was the turning point of our conversation. A theory before the story, when two individuals who haven’t met before and are unknown entity to each other starts chatting, there is a high probability of misunderstanding. The second chat kind of proves this theory. While chatting, I said something in one perspective and she took it in another. So at the end of the chat, her idea about me – egoistic, self centric, narcissist and condescending. According to her, I am the guy who feels great about himself because he is in US. And the funny part, I had no clue.

After some days, my family updated me that there was some problem and she refused the proposal and I was indicted for the problem. I was comfortable about her decision and I accepted it but wanted to know the reasons because as per me, we never actually talked to indict anyone. We had some email exchanges and sorted out the whole misunderstanding. I don’t understand why did we sort it because generally in arrange marriages, you make the decision and move on. You do not justify your decision to the girl/boy and at the same time do not ask for any justification. It wasn’t a good start as we started with a misunderstanding. I wasn’t hopeful of the entire situation and I think even she had the same view.

In Dec 2009, I went to India for a visit and was supposed to meet few girls during my trip. For the last 6 months, I wasn’t in contact with her, wasn’t even aware whether she is still single or not. In India, my father updated me that we might meet her if time permits. Based on our history, I wasn’t excited about the meet but still wanted to meet her. Finally in the last week of December, I met her. The meeting was fun and different. I was rigorously tested by her family. All the jokes were targeted towards me and she was enjoying it. She wanted to teach me a lesson as she was furious on me. She wanted to prove that it is not a big deal if you live in US. But I was oblivious to all this. I was just enjoying the time. I enjoyed the jokes targeted towards me. I felt like I was surrounded by friends. But there was a problem, she never directly talked to me properly. She was tensed, awkward and couldn’t even look at me. So the meeting ended without any decision.

I was back to US and got busy with my life. After some time, I started chatting with her again. I guess she realized that her perception about me was wrong. So now, our chats were pretty normal and standard. We used to talk about her brother’s marriage. Her brother was getting married in a month or so and we talked about the shopping, preparations, celebrations etc. So it was just a talk with no outcome. Time passed and still there was no outcome. It is wrong to keep anyone waiting and I was aware of this rule but some how I was incapable to make any decision. I thought next time I chat with her, I will come up with a decision.

In April 2010, I asked her to talk to me instead of chatting. We talked for about 2 hours on skype which instigated my proclivity towards her. After couple of days, we talked again on Skype for about 4 hours and this time, I made the decision. I realized that she is the one. I talked to my parents about my decision and updated her with the same. She replied that she is still confused and need some time to make a decision.

She almost took one month to decide. Those 30 days were really awful. I was talking to her intermittently. I never called her because I did not want to influence her decision. At the other end, my parents were getting restless. They are like, why its taking so long and some how they couldn’t comprehend the situation and the worst part is, I couldn’t explain them either. So I was the target once again. They had to get through their frustration and I was the target for them. At one stage, I was so frustrated that I felt like calling her and telling her just to forget about everything and we both move on with our life. Once my frustration receded, my logical mind started working and it did not allow me to take such a foolish action.

Anyways, the end result is what matters. She finally thought that I am worth her companionship and she agreed to marry me. That was 16th May 2010. When I trace back through all these events, I realized that Marriages are really made in heaven!!!

Arrange Marriages..!!!!

I met lot of people in US who have misinformation about arrange marriages. I though of blogging it…

1) We are not forced into arrange marriages, it is our personal choice (or say last option to find the right match 🙂 )

2) We(male and female) have equal opportunity to agree or disagree to any marriage proposal.

3) We are given some time( not years but days) to decide over any ongoing marriage proposal.

4) We are given enough time and space to communicate ourself to each other.

5) Parents do the first screening and we too have the screening right.

6) Though we do not have a live in relationship before getting married but that does not mean that we are physically forced and married to the very next girl our parents decide.

7) The marriage process is started since years and both the families do all types of screenings before moving forward because marriages in India are amalgamation of two families.

(Please add any more points in the comments, if I am missing)